Text of Harrison Butker's commencement address

 Here is the text of harrison butker from his commencement speech that caused such controversy: 

(Transcript taken from the youtube video here, formatting by chatgpt) 

"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2024, I would like to start off by congratulating all of you for successfully making it to this achievement today. I'm sure your high school graduation was not what you had imagined, and most likely neither was your first couple of years of college. By making it to this moment through all the adversity thrown your way from COVID, I hope you learned the important lesson that suffering in this life is only temporary.

As a group, you witnessed firsthand how bad leaders who don't stay in their lane can have a negative impact on society. It is through this lens that I want to take stock of how we got to where we are and where we want to go as citizens and, yes, as Catholics.

One last thing before I begin: I want to be sure to thank President Min and the board for their invitation to speak. When President Min first reached out a couple of months ago, I had originally said no. You see, last year I gave the commencement address at my alma mater, Georgia Tech, and I felt that one graduation speech was more than enough, especially for someone who isn't a professional speaker. But of course, President Min used his gift of persuasion and spoke to the many challenges you all faced throughout the COVID fiasco and how you missed out on so many milestones.

The rest of us older people have taken for granted. While COVID might have played a large role throughout your formative years, it is not unique. Bad policies and poor leadership have negatively impacted major life issues. Things like abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, as well as a growing support for degenerate cultural values in media, all stem from the pervasiveness of disorder.

Our own nation is led by a man who publicly and proudly proclaims his Catholic faith, but at the same time, is delusional enough to make the sign of the cross during a pro-abortion rally. He has been so vocal in his support for the murder of innocent babies that, to many people, it appears that you can be both Catholic and pro-choice. He is not alone.

From the man behind the COVID lockdowns to the people pushing dangerous gender ideologies onto the youth of America, they all have a glaring thing in common: they are Catholic. This is an important reminder that being Catholic alone doesn't cut it. These are the sorts of things we are told in polite society to not bring up. You know, the difficult and unpleasant things. But if we are going to be men and women for this time in history, we need to stop pretending that the Church of Nice is a winning proposition.

We must always speak and act in charity, but never mistake charity for cowardice. It is safe to say that over the past few years, I've gained quite the reputation for speaking my mind. I never envisioned myself, nor wanted to have, this sort of platform. But God has given it to me, so I have no other choice but to embrace it and preach more hard truths about accepting your lane and staying in it.

As members of the Church founded by Jesus Christ, it is our duty and ultimately privilege to be authentically and unapologetically Catholic. Don't be mistaken, even within the Church, people in polite Catholic circles will try to persuade you to remain silent.

There even was an award-winning film called Silence made by a fellow Catholic, wherein one of the main characters, a Jesuit priest, abandoned the Church and as an apostate when he died, is seen grasping a crucifix, quiet and unknown to anyone but God.

As a friend of Benedict in college, His Excellency Bishop Robert Baron said in his review of the film, it was exactly what the cultural elite want to see in Christianity: private, hidden away, and harmless. Our Catholic faith has always been countercultural. Our Lord, along with countless followers, were all put to death for their adherence to Her teachings.

The world around us says that we should keep our beliefs to ourselves whenever they go against the tyranny of diversity, equity, and inclusion. We fear speaking truth because now, unfortunately, truth is in the minority. Congress just passed a bill where stating something as basic as the Biblical teaching of who killed Jesus could land you in jail.

But make no mistake, before we even attempt to fix any of the issues plaguing society, we must first get our own house in order. And it starts with our leaders. The bishops and priests appointed by God as our spiritual fathers must be rightly ordered.

There is not enough time today for me to list all the stories of priests and bishops misleading their flocks, but none of us can blame ignorance anymore and just blindly proclaim that's what Father said because, sadly, many priests we are looking to for leadership are the same ones who prioritize their hobbies or even photos with their dogs and matching outfits for the parish directory.

It's easy for us laymen and women to think that in order for us to be holy, that we must be active in our parish and try to fix it. Yes, we absolutely should be involved in supporting our parishes, but we cannot be the source for our parish priests to lean on to help with their problems.

Just as we look at the relationship between a father and his son, so too should we look at the relationship between a priest and his people. It would not be appropriate for me to always be looking to my son for help when it is my job as his father to lead him. St. Jose Maria Escriva states that priests are ordained to serve and should not yield to temptation to imitate laypeople, but to be priests through and through.

Tragically, so many priests derive much of their happiness from the adulation they receive from their parishioners, and in searching for this, they let their guard down and become overly familiar. This undue familiarity will prove to be problematic every time because, as my teammate's girlfriend says, familiarity breeds contempt.

St. Jose Maria continues that some want to see the priest as just another man. That is not so. They want to find in the priests those virtues proper to every Christian and indeed every honorable man: understanding, justice, a life of work (priestly work in this instance), and good manners.

It is not prudent, as the laity, for us to consume ourselves in becoming amateur theologians so that we can decipher this or that theological teaching unless, of course, you are a theology major.

We must be intentional with our focus on our estate and life, and our own vocation. And for most of us, that's as married men and women. Still, we have so many great resources at our fingertips that it doesn't take long to find traditional and timeless teachings that haven't been ambiguously reworded for our times.

Plus, there are still many good and holy priests, and it's up to us to seek them out. The chaos of the world is unfortunately reflected in the chaos in our parishes and, sadly, in our cathedrals too.

As we saw during the pandemic, too many bishops were not leaders at all. They were motivated by fear: fear of being sued, fear of being removed, fear of being disliked. They showed, by their actions intentional or unintentional, that the sacraments don't actually matter. Because of this, countless people died alone without access to the sacraments, and it's a tragedy we must never forget.

As Catholics, we can look to so many examples of heroic shepherds who gave their

 lives for their people and ultimately the Church. We cannot buy into the lie that the things we experienced during COVID were appropriate.

Over the centuries, there have been great wars, great famines, and yes, even great diseases, all that came with a level of lethality and danger. But in each of those examples, church leaders leaned into their vocations and ensured that their people received the sacraments.

Great saints like St. Damien of Molokai, who knew the dangers of his ministry, stayed for 11 years as a spiritual leader to the leper colonies of Hawaii. His heroism is looked at today as something set apart and unique when ideally it should not be unique at all. For as a father loves his child, so a shepherd should love his spiritual children too.

That goes even more so for our bishops, these men who are present-day apostles. Our bishops once had adoring crowds of people kissing their rings and taking in their every word. But now, they relegate themselves to a position of inconsequential existence. Now, when a bishop of a diocese or the bishops' conference as a whole puts out an important document on this matter or that, nobody even takes a moment to read it, let alone follow it.

No, today our shepherds are far more concerned with keeping the doors open to the chancery than they are with saying the difficult stuff out loud. It seems that the only time you hear from your bishops is when it's time for the annual appeal.

Whereas, we need our bishops to be vocal about the teachings of the Church, setting aside their own personal comfort and embracing their cross. Our bishops are not politicians but shepherds. So instead of fitting in the world by going along to get along, they too need to stay in their lane and lead.

I say all of this not from a place of anger, as we get the leaders we deserve, but this does make me reflect on staying in my lane and focusing on my own vocation and how I can be a better father and husband and live in the world but not be of it.

Focusing on my vocation while praying and fasting for these men will do more for the Church than me complaining about her leaders. Because there seems to be so much confusion coming from our leaders, there needs to be concrete examples for people to look to.

In places like Benedictine, a little Kansas college built high on a bluff above the Missouri River, are showing the world how an ordered, Christ-centered existence is the recipe for success. You need to look no further than the examples all around this campus, where over the past 20 years enrollment has doubled.

Construction and revitalization are a constant part of life, and people - the students, the faculty, and staff - are thriving. This didn't happen by chance. In a deliberate movement to embrace traditional Catholic values, Benedictine has gone from just another liberal arts school with nothing to set it apart to a thriving beacon of light and a reminder to us all that when you embrace tradition, success, worldly and spiritual, will follow.

I am certain the reporters at the AP could not have imagined that their attempt to rebuke and embarrass places and people like those here at Benedictine wouldn't be met with anger, but instead met with excitement and pride. Not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify Him.

Reading that article now shared all over the world, we see that in the complete surrender of self and a turning towards Christ, you will find happiness. Right here, in a little town in Kansas, we find many inspiring laypeople using their talents. President Min, Dr. Swafford, and Dr. Zimmerer are a few great examples right here on this very campus that will keep the light of Christ burning bright for generations to come.

Being locked in with your vocation and staying in your lane is going to be the best way for you to find true happiness and peace in this life. It is essential that we focus on our own state in life, whether that be as a layperson, a priest, or religious.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2024, you are sitting at the edge of the rest of your lives. Each of you has the potential to leave a legacy that transcends yourselves and this era of human existence. In the small ways by living out your vocation, you will ensure that God's Church continues and the world is enlightened by your example.

For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you.

How many of you are sitting here now, about to cross this stage, and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.

I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in B class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all - homemaker.

She's a primary educator to our children. She's the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father. She is the person that knows me best at my core, and it is through our marriage that, Lord willing, we will both attain salvation.

I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God's will in their life. Isabelle's dream of having a career might not have come true, but if you ask her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud without hesitation and say, "Heck no!"

As a man who gets a lot of praise and has been given a platform to speak to audiences like this one today, I pray that I always use my voice for God and not for myself. Everything I am saying to you is not from a place of wisdom but rather a place of experience.

I am hopeful that these words will be seen as those from a man not much older than you who feels it is imperative that this class, this generation, in this time in our society, must stop pretending that the things we see around us are normal. Heterodox ideas abound even within Catholic circles.

For let's be honest, there is nothing good about playing God with having children, whether that be your ideal number or the perfect time to conceive. No matter how you spin it, there is nothing natural about Catholic birth control.

It is only in the past few years that I have grown encouraged to speak more boldly and directly because, as I mentioned earlier, I have leaned into my vocation as a husband and father

, and as a man. To the gentlemen here today, part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you, that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities.

As men, we set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction, and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Other countries do not have nearly the same absentee father rates as we find here in the US, and a correlation could be made in their drastically lower violence rates as well.

Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things; never settle for what is easy. You might have a talent that you don't necessarily enjoy, but if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something that you might think suits you better.

I speak from experience as an introvert who now finds myself as an amateur public speaker and an entrepreneur, something I never thought I'd be when I received my industrial engineering degree.

The road ahead is bright. Things are changing. Society is shifting, and people young and old are embracing tradition. Not only has it been my vocation that has helped me and those closest to me, but not surprising to many of you should be my outspoken embrace of the traditional Latin Mass.

I've been very vocal in my love and devotion to the TLM and its necessity for our lives. But what I think gets misunderstood is that people who attend the TLM do so out of pride or preference. I can speak to my own experience, but for most people I have come across within these communities, this simply is not true.

I do not attend the TLM because I think I am better than others or for the smells and bells or even for the love of Latin. I attend the TLM because I believe just as the God of the Old Testament was pretty particular in how he wanted to be worshipped, the same holds true for us today.

It is through the TLM that I encountered order and began to pursue it in my own life. Aside from the TLM itself, too many of our sacred traditions have been relegated to things of the past. In my parish, things such as Ember Days, days when we fast and pray for vocations and for our priests, are still adhered to.

The TLM is so essential that I would challenge each of you to pick a place to move where it is readily available. A lot of people have complaints about the parish or the community, but we should not sacrifice the Mass for community. I prioritize the TLM even if the parish isn't beautiful, the priest isn't great, or the community isn't amazing. I still go to the TLM because I believe the sacrifice of the Mass is more important than anything else.

I say this knowing full well that when each of you rekindle your knowledge and adherence to many of the Church's greatest traditions, you will see how much more colorful and alive your life can and should be.

As you move on from this place and enter into the world, know that you will face many challenges. Sadly, I'm sure many of you know of the countless stories of good and active members of this community who, after graduation and moving away from the Benedictine bubble, have ended up moving in with their boyfriend or girlfriend prior to marriage. Some even leave the Church and abandon God. It is always heartbreaking to hear these stories, and there's a desire to know what happened and what went wrong.

What you must remember is that life is about doing the small things well, setting yourself up for success, and surrounding yourself with people who continually push you to be the best version of you. I say this all the time, that iron sharpens iron. It's a great reminder that those closest to us should be making us better.

If you are dating someone who doesn't even share your faith, how do you expect that person to help you become a saint? If your friend group is filled with people who only think about what you're doing next weekend and are not willing to have those difficult conversations, how can they help sharpen you as you prepare to enter into the workforce?

It is extremely important that you actually think about the places you are moving to. Who is the bishop? What kind of parishes are there? Do they offer the TLM and have priests who embrace their priestly vocation? Cost of living must not be the only arbiter of your choices, for a life without God is not a life at all, and the cost of salvation is worth more than any career.

I'm excited for the future, and I pray that something I have said will resonate. As you move on to the next chapter of your life, never be afraid to profess the one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church, for this is the Church that Jesus Christ established through which we receive sanctifying grace.

I know that my message today had a little less fluff than is expected for these speeches, but I believe that this audience and this venue is the best place to speak openly and honestly about who we are and where we all want to go, which is heaven.

I thank God for Benedictine College and for the example it provides to the world. I thank God for men like President Min who are doing their part for the kingdom. Come to find out, you can have an authentically Catholic college and a thriving football program.

Make no mistake, you are entering into mission territory in a post-God world, but you were made for this. And with God by your side and a constant striving for virtue within your vocation, you too can be a saint. Christ is King to the heights!"

Buffalo, we have to talk about Oklahoma...OK! the musical

 Buffalo, I have a problem with you and your relationship to theater. 

When I graduated from college after studying musical theatre, one of the things I knew about the city was that it had a robust theatre community, and I loved it and many of the people in it, and also that I wasn't a match. Love you, love it, love theater, but we were never fully aligned.  

I took myself to the big city where I could be a small fish in a gigantic pond of risky, edgy theatre that tried new things, invented techniques, pushed limits, and loved small productions as much as the grandiose ones. I wanted - still want - to perform on Broadway. But I love most the shows that challenge. And I've seen a lot of them. BRILLIANT, ugly, and disastrous. 

But Buffalo wants its theatre a bit more straight-laced. Not as much risk taking, as fun or thought-provoking in a safe way. We are a working city, after all. Folks want beer, sports, and entertainment that can thrill but not really challenge. 

I've been so proud to watch our theatre community push to spread past that - and I've seen and heard about works that try to push at the edges of theatre. They're not big hits, they're not talked about beyond the small bubbles of conversation, but I see smaller companies in Buffalo really trying. I admire that. 

So when Oklahoma was announced - when it originally opened as a re-imagined piece - I was curious. I wondered about it, but ultimately I didn't really consider it in my top shows to go see. I was in it when I was a kid, and I watched it on TV many times - so I thought I knew the musical pretty well. Certainly, I knew the music and dancing and hoopla that I loved. I figured that with Jud and all the "I Cain't Say No" of it, there was some room for modern re-imaginings, but I didn't give it much heed.

Until Buffalo rejected it. 

When I heard folks were walking out of the theatre, and read the posts absolutely hating what they were seeing, and knowing my city the way I do - with its propensity to reject things that are not familiar and comfortable - well, I had to go see it. 

Buffalo, my dear beloved city, we have got to talk. 

Let me offer my caveats. If you were expecting the original production, you were going to hate this one. If you don't know or are familiar with modern dance, you were going to despise the ballet section. If you are unfamiliar with, or don't appreciate, theatre in the round and how that sometimes doesn't perfectly translate to proscenium theatre, you probably weren't going to give the show the liberty it needed, or understand what made this huge show quiet and intimate.

Stripped down of most of the dance, the showiness, the high cornfields, the costumes and the expectations, Oklahoma the re-imaging provided an indictment on the way we took over this country. Although it didn't broach Native perspective, it's not a hard leap from this production to also apply the blood-stained expansion to the experiences of those whose land was stolen from them.

If you walked out, if you hated it, let me share with you what you missed. And I recommend - highly - reading a copy of the script. You can do that, here. Read it. Read it like an actor - remove all the stage directions, and focus on the words being said. 

OK! opened with six picnic-style wooden tables in a small community room with guns on the wall and a backdrop of a large field and two small houses in the distance. Everything takes place in this community room. It could be a church, or a barn, or a large dance hall - presumably it's the one large room available for this small tight-knit community, where every social event takes place. 

The actors didn't leave the stage for most of the first act, and conversation happened often without anyone moving. It was difficult to know who was talking sometimes - and until we got to know who was who, it was easy to get mildly lost waiting to find out who was who. However, in staging it like this, we got the impression that community here was everything. What happened in private also happened in public - everybody knew everything, either immediately or shortly after. There was always someone nearby to overhear, to gossip, to support. And the actors stepped in to offer harmonies where needed, or to sit idly by while private conversations took place sometimes at separate tables, sometimes moving throughout the room. 

Curly was the "rock star" of the social space, sometimes literally as he played guitar and figuratively as he was deemed attractive and a sort of leader among the ranchers. When Laurie saw him, he sometimes took on that "larger than life" role that a rock star has. Laurie, a young woman caught in this changing world, was abrasive and sharp. She desired more than her world allowed, but was somewhat trapped by the limited options available to her. 

Laurie: Me? Course I want sump'n. Want a buckle made outa shiny silver to fasten onto my shoes! Want a dress with lace. Want perfume, wanta be purty, wanta smell like a honeysuckle vine! Want things I've heard of and never had before-a rubber-t'ard buggy, a cut-glass sugar bowl. Want things I can't tell you about-not only things to look at and hold in yer hands. Things to happen to you. Things so nice, if they ever did happen to you, yer heart ud quit beatin'. You'd fall down dead!

Curly wooed her with manipulations and lies, using his rock star guitar-laden status to appeal to her. It wasn't love, it was a peacock showing its feathers. In a brilliant hint of his motivation, the lights dimmed to reveal the tables' crossed legs that looked like a rancher's fence lining the horizon. Taking over land. Limiting it. Expanding it. Controlling it. Laurie saw through him. 

Laurie: Why'd you come around here with yer stories and lies, gittin' me all worked up that a-way? Talkin' 'bout the sun swimmin' on the hill, and all-like it was so. Who'd want to ride 'longside of you anyway?

This production didn't play with the female trope that Laurie was being coy. In this production, Laurie meant every single word. It's what I loved most about this interpretation - it took every character for truth. It opened up the world to the motivations that the original Oklahoma misplaced due to the time period. 

Aunt Eller assured Curly that Laurie liked him. But why? Why was Aunt Eller pushing so hard, when she could see her daughter was miserable with the choices in front of her? I hadn't ever questioned this before. What was Aunt Eller's motivation? That was never made perfectly clear in the script, but as other characters revealed themselves, her situation revealed itself as the matriarch of this family - hiring out help to do things her body no longer allowed her to do. 

Laurie: I-I wisht I was the way you are.

Aunt Eller: Fiddlesticks! Scrawny and old? You couldn't h'ar [hire] me to be the way I am!

Since Laurie's father was never revealed the presumption was that Aunt Eller ran the farm herself. Finding a husband for her daughter was priority - and somebody who could do the work. Jud had proven himself, and as much as Aunt Eller was pushing Curly toward Laurie, she was looking out for Laurie too. Laurie confessed to Aunt Eller that something was off about Jud. 

Laurie: Sumpin' wrong inside him, Aunt Eller. I hook my door at night and fasten my winders agin it. Agin it-and the sound of feet a-walkin' up and down out there under that tree outside my room.

Aunt Eller: Laurie!

Laurie: I know whut I'm talkin' about.

Obsessive, secretive, and on the outskirts of the community, Jud was skilled but not socially connected. In a small community like this. In fact, the casting of Jud as somebody who was not a big brawny person, and somebody who instead possibly had a social anxiety and was smaller in statue and quiet of voice - this lent a beautiful vulnerability to the character that hadn't existed in the bravado and lustful view of the original casting. Here, Jud was pitiable, and Laurie's uncertainty about him became more uncertain. He wasn't an obvious "bad guy." Being disconnected from the community cost him. Living apart from them, "in the smoke house," rather than close to them, and clearly smitten with pornography of the time - while not inherently wrong, painted a picture of someone fiercely lonely but unable to connect. 

Curly didn't help. 

The staging of Curly's visit to Jud's smoke house was ingenious for a show that had originally been in-the-round. In the round stagings are often intimate, quiet, with smaller houses, and easy to guide your attention to what's important. In a large proscenium room a black-out loses some of the energy that a small room creates - but yet it was a perfect way to create intimacy. All you heard were the voices. You were sitting close in the room with them. Most of the scene between Curly and Jud took place in the dark, but the truth was you didn't need to see it. This allowed you to focus on what was really going on: Curly's manipulation. 

Curly: That's a good-lookin' rope you got there. Spins nice. You know Will Parker? He can shore spin a rope. 'S a strong hook you got there. You could hang yerself on that, Jud.

Jud: I could whut?

Curly: Hang yerself. It ud be as easy as fallin' off a log! Fact is, you could stand on a log-er a cheer if you'd rather-right about here-see? And put this here around yer neck. Tie that good up there first, of course. Then all you'd have to do would be to fall off the log-er the cheer, whichever you'd ruther fall off of. In five minutes, or less, with good luck, you'd be daid as a doornail...Nen folks ud stand around you and the men ud bare their heads and the womern ud sniffle softly. Some'd prob'ly faint-ones that had tuck a shine to you when you wuz alive.

Jud: What womern have tuck a shine to me?

Curly: Lots of womern. On'y they don't never come right out and show you how they feel less'n you die first. 

As curly spins his story, making Jud feel simultaneously disgusting as a human being, and bolstered in the thought of redemption and perhaps love in his death, a screen showing close-ups of Jud's and Curly's faces played on the backdrop. From our distance, there was no other way we could see the unspoken facial reactions - Jud's taking Curly's words seriously, and Curly enjoying the fact that he was succeeding. 

The scene was chilling. And when they both shot their guns, that Aunt Eller chastised them almost immediately was a reminder that as far away as Jud was from the community, they were still watching. Community was still nearby and paying attention. 

Ado Annie was cast as a larger woman, in spite of lines in the script specifying "110 pounds" as spoken by Will Parker. First, the casting was fantastic for today's audience. Ado Annie wasn't a shy thing struggling with her desire - THIS Ado Annie completely accepted who she was, proudly. Daringly. She still had some innocence - she was willing to play society's role in listening to her father and marrying when appropriate, but she was fully aware of the fact that men could sleep around and she wasn't supposed to - and she fully rejected it. The men would have to live up to her standards. 

Ado Annie: With you if s all er nuthin'- All fer you and nuthin' fer me! But if a wife is wise She's gotta realize That men like you are wild and free. So I ain't gonna fuss, Ain't gonna frown, Have your fun, go out on the town, Stay up late and don't come home, till three, And go right off to sleep, if you're sleepy-There's no use waitin' up fer me!

She rejected Will's offer if he was going to constrain her. The actors played this not as coy, but as real. Will still had work to do if he was going to make a marriage work, and it was clear that of all the relationships shown in this production, Will's desire for Ado Annie was the only romantic one, even if Ado Annie didn't particularly see it that way. Ado's character in this production was my favorite. She was sexually free and unapologetic about it - even if, given the time period, mere kissing was today's "fooling around." 

Ado's character revealed the misogyny of the rest of the male characters, including Curly's. Her flirtation with the peddler was fun to watch, since she approached it with sincerity when he clearly didn't. Ultimately, the peddler's sexual promiscuity resulted in a satisfying trap of his own making - the most constrained of all the characters in the end. Originally his character might have been sympathetic - if humorous - to men watching the program. Now, it was relatable and at the same time gave a beautiful sense of just desserts for the way men have abused their privilege for centuries. His wife was pleased with the match, and his misery was his own. For all the women I've seen literally trapped in marriages they could not escape for a billion reasons (over centuries!), this stark view of a man who'd taken advantage of women and ended up taken advantage of in the end was most satisfying. 

Laurie, meanwhile, is struggling with the limited options available to her. A manipulative Curly - who was pursuing her doggedly, or the reliable farmhand Jud - who frightened her? The peddler gave her "smelling salts" - but it was clearly a drug of some kind. It could have been acid, or meth, or something that provided visions. She was told the visions would help her settle her heart into a decision, although the community told her clearly that she didn't need drugs to help her. She nonetheless took them. 

And that leads us to the second act, and the dance. 

Act one ended with me wondering, why does Curly want Laurie so badly? He's a rancher, he could travel. He could easily - just as easily, possibly more so than Jud - move on to other territories. Jud was a proven success with the farm, running it almost singlehandedly. 

In fact, Jud was a natural choice for Laurie given his skill at running the land. It's likely the sole reason that Aunt Eller didn't dismiss him entirely - except that Aunt Eller listened to what Laurie had to say about him. And believed her. 

But why did Curly want Laurie? His motivation wasn't yet clear.

Open act two. Laurie has just taken some of the peddler's drugs, and we are ready for THE BALLET.

I love modern dance with a gigantic passion. I studied, performed, and choreographed modern dance in college and have followed a number of modern dance companies since then. It's the one style of dance I can't get enough of watching, so I was delighted to see a modern dance interpretation of the ballet, rather than actual ballet. 

The glossy "DREAM" shirt of the dancer and the starkness of the stage with the tables moved aside, accompanied by electric rock music made this drug-induced state that Laurie was taking herself into all the more real. Rock music had been established as her vision of Curly as some sort of "rock star," and it played its part in this dance. Unlike the ballet of the original movie, this leapt to the heart of her confusion and provided no easy answers, just as the community had warned. However - a few things were made clearer. She viewed Jud as a snake, crawling around the ground as he gathered the boots that had fallen from the sky (I'd love some interpretation on that? Anyone have any theories for the moment of boots dropping to the ground across the stage in a loud thud?), and while Curly didn't stand out necessarily as a grand choice, he did move as part of the community. It seemed almost as though she had to choose to stand with the community and her social standing, with the progress of her country - or choose someone who balked at that progress, who stood socially apart. The second video segment of the show took place here - where a cameraman followed her so we could see the consternation of the dancer, the exertion, and the distress. In a brilliantly artistic design, the camera followed the dancer along the stage, adding to the dream-like state with the stage lights and shadows and movement behind her. At times the light highlighted the lines of the doors of the backdrop of the stage, creating yet another sense of "fencing." The dream ended without a clear resolution, but with the murky and unsettled deepening awareness that any of us experience with deep dreams - or drug-induced states of mind. 

This brought us to the barn dance where the motivations of the characters started to be laid out more clearly. The song about ranchers and farmers laid out a previously hidden conflict - the future of the country. The song claimed "they should be friends" but the langue was becoming clear that what was taking place was staking out territory. Ranchers needed land, and so did farmers. They both were fighting for their stake in the state's future, and the community was being forced to navigate the encroaching limit of land, delineating territory by fences. Drawing lines where previously there had been none. State lines. Farmland. Ranch territory. 

At the dance, Jud gets Laurie alone, and confesses that he's been obsessed with her since she touched him once, while he was ill. This was the second scene done in the dark. Visuals weren't necessary, and we needed the intimacy to really hear the words being spoken. It was a private moment, much like Jud and Curly's conversation - one that nobody else would know, that no community member was privy to. Just the characters, and us. Jud's heartache - the awareness that he had no female partner, no other source of human touch or consolation because of the way he'd isolated himself - was devastating. However, as happens with many young people, that laying out of sympathy is often a way to draw women into sexual relations. Such was starting to happen - you could hear slurpy kisses. A belt removed. 

The lights came back on slowly as Laurie pushes him away. 

And as most women who've ever encountered a rejected man before, Jud shows his true lights. A possible incel? He'd already tried to murder Curly by use of Will Parker's innocent but deadly toy that he'd purchased as a gift, although that was slyly intercepted by a keen-eyed Aunt Eller. This rejection by Laurie was the final straw.  

Jud: I ain't good enough, am I? I'm a h'ard hand, got dirt on my hands, pigslop. Ain't fitten to tetch you. You're better, so much better. Yeah, we'll see who's better-Miss Laurey. Nen you'll wisht you wasn't so free 'th yer airs, you're sich a fine lady...

I recognized this anger immediately. She wouldn't be safe, and her decision to fire him was as much a relief to the audience as it must have been to her. Yet when she calls to see Curly, it's not because she's in love with him or wants him, necessarily. She has realized he's a safer choice for herself. She agrees to marry him. And Curly's intentions suddenly become clear: 

Curly: Oh, I got to learn to be a farmer, I see that! Quit a-thinkin' about th'owin' the rope, and start in to git my hands blistered a new way! Oh, things is changin' right and left! Buy up mowin' machines, cut down the prairies! Shoe yer horses, drag them plows under the sod! They gonna make a state outa this territory, they gonna put it in the Union! Country a-changin', got to change with it! Bring up a pair of boys, new stock, to keep up 'th the way things is goin' in this here crazy country! Now I got you to he'p me-I'll 'mount to sumpin yit!

This play wasn't about relationships - although it was. At this moment, everything is laid bare. Curly's intention was to take over the farmland. To own Laurie's and Aunt Eller's land. To stake his claim in the future of the state. Jud wanted Laurie, but he didn't care about the future of the state. He didn't want to move the country forward. Curly did. Curly was the future of Oklahoma, and by marrying Laurie he could take that next step. 

This brought us to the final scene. 

The staging of this scene was as understated as could be. Very little movement. The focus was on the words of the script. Nearly everyone was seated. Nobody moved, instead allowing their words to work so that our imaginations as the audience could fill in the blanks and focus on what was actually happening. 

What was happening? 

The couple, Laurie and Curly had been married and were set to go on their honeymoon. Rumors that Jud was nearby after a three week absence were circulating. The couple was dancing, but everything stopped when Jud entered the room. 

The show that I saw - the audience was dead silent at this moment. The actors took their time, and felt no rush. As far as I could tell, the audience was holding their breath as well. Jud dominated center stage and offered his gift to Curly - the gun with which to kill him. It was both Jud's gift to Curly, and a last ploy to earn the love of the woman he was infatuated with. 

The scene was set up so that Laurie made a clear decision to stand with Curly. And he did shoot. In the original, Jud fell on his own knife. In this re-imagining, Curly shot him. 

And here was the most American scene of all. 

The room was full of witnesses. Everyone had been seated, watching. Jud hadn't taken one step toward Curly, and yet he was dead. The actor's words indicated some degree of chaos: "move him, take him to the farm," etc. etc. But on stage, nobody moved. Curly and Laurie had been tainted with the blood of Jud's death the instant it happened. 

The words ran out above all: 

CORD ELAM: Best thing is fer Curly to go of his own accord and tell the Judge.

AUNT ELLER: (To Carnes) Why, you're the Judge, ain't you, Andrew?

CARNES: Yes, but-

LAUREY: (Urging Curly forward) Well, tell him now and git it over with.

CORD ELAM: 'T wouldn't be proper. You have to do it in court.

AUNT ELLER: Oh, fiddlesticks. Le's do it here and say we did it in court.

CORD ELAM: We can't do that. That's breaking the law.

AUNT ELLER: Well, le's not break the law. Le's just bend it a little. C'mon, Andrew, and start the trial. We ain't got but a few minnits.

CORD ELAM: Andrew-I got to protest.

CARNES: Oh, shet yer trap. We can give the boy a fair trial without lockin' him up on his weddin' night! Here's the long and short of it. First I got to ask you: Whut's your plea? 'At means why did you do it?

CURLY: Why'd I do it? Cuz he'd been pesterin' Laurey and I always said some day I'd-

CARNES: Jist a minnit! Jist a minnit! Don't let yer tongue wobble around in yer mouth like 'at... Listen to my question.

Whut happened tonight 'at made you kill him.

CURLY: Why he come at me with a knife and-and-

CARNES: And you had to defend yerself, didn't you?

CURLY: Why, yes-and furthermore . . .

CARNES: Never mind the furthermores-the plea is self-defense-

What could be more American than a plea of self-defense in the face of otherwise being held accountable for murder? 

Cord Elam, as the sole person who protests, was held to account by the community. Played for laughs in the original, the truth in this staging couldn't have been clearer: 

CORD ELAM: (Shaking his hand) Feel funny about it. Feel funny.

AUNT ELLER: You'll feel funny when I tell yer wife you're carryin' on 'th another womern, won't you?

CORD ELAM: I ain't carryin' on 'th no one.

AUNT ELLER: Mebbe not, but you'll shore feel funny when I tell yer wife you air.

Cord had the option of standing apart from the community - and not to any success, mind you, for the community would have moved on without his word - or standing with it. Cord stood with it. That Cord's role was cast with a brown-skinned man added weight to both his protest, and to his uneasy acceptance of moving forward with a society that was staking its claim through injustice.

Again, all of this took place without much movement. The focus on the words, and the moment. 

"Oh what a beautiful morning" was sung - this time, with a new tension, and new awareness that the community - the state - the country - was going to move ahead, willfully blind to the slaughter that it was leaving behind. The finale, "Oklahoma!," was less a joyful calling of the hopeful future they were creating, and more of an indictment of the way in which people created the states we now have - the country we now have - the society we now have. 

This retelling of mine, based on my experience of the play, is focused on the words of the script - much as the play itself was. If there is not a large description of costumery, staging, dance...it's because much of that was removed from the play itself. 

To me, this re-telling of the musical is exactly the sort of revisiting we need to do for most of our works. And please don't get me wrong. I love Jesus Christ Superstar and the flashiness of The Music Man and all of the classics with a deep passion and joyful exuberance. 

But it's smart to re-evaluate the things we loved. To look again with clearer eyes to see what was really true, and what wasn't? 

Oklahoma could almost have been written today. The universality of the themes and the behaviors of people haven't changed, although social expectations and freedoms certainly have. And I wouldn't want to go back to the limits placed on characters like Laurie and Ado Annie. I don't want to go back to a time when marriage was a land contract (although this still happens). 

The progress we made as a country was stained - just as Laurie and Curly were - by the blood spilt in the taking over of land. 

But just like Aunt Eller said, 

Aunt Eller: Lots of things happen to folks.Sickness, er bein' pore and hungry even-bein' old and afeared to die. That's the way it is-cradle to grave. And you can stand it. They's one way. You gotta be hearty, you got to be. You cain't deserve the sweet and tender in life less'n you're tough.

Buffalo, I want you to toughen up. I want you to be able to come to theatre like this and really hear what's being said. To go on a journey with the text. To let go of the easy palatable song and dance.

This version of Oklahoma is what I want theatre to be all about. Let's push us a little bit. 

If we can handle the cold, we can handle truths. Even if you don't like modern dance. 

 

 

 

math is metaphor

 Conversation with a friend who was too tired to go this route, but led to some interesting thoughts of mine.

Discussing math, which she hates, and I have come to like. Can't do it, still suck at it, but from a theoretical standpoint, math has become pretty cool. I wish I'd understood a few things about math when I was younger:

• Numbers are just representational. They don't actually exist. Sort of like time, calendars, and morals. They are things we invented and live by, but they don't actually exist in real life. Numbers aren't actual things, they represent things.

• Because numbers simply are representations, they are much more malleable than I believed when I was younger. I believed that numbers were hard concrete things that required ridiculous steps that I didn't understand in order to solve problems that had no basis in life. They were just things that had to be done, either the right way or wrong way, and for some reason my grades relied on them. Sure, maybe I would use this stuff when I went to the store, and grew up to have to figure out stocks or something, and buy a house, but other than that, these school math problems had little bearing on life. you solve the problem correctly, showing your work, or you don't and everybody gets mad at you. That was my experience with math. No wonder I hated it! But numbers are just representations of things. And that realization opened up a whole world of what math could be used for.

• Math is metaphor. Actually, math puts numerical representations to metaphorical things. I like metaphor. I like the bible for its amazing metaphors. Once I realized this, I realized that life is actually mostly mathematical. Relationships with people, the way we serendipitously have coincidences happen, the way we think and operate - it all actually is mathematical formula. We may not know the formula, may not be able to solve it, but if we were able to see the really really big picture, we could potentially put numbers to it all and solve big human behavior questions. Also, math is HARD BECAUSE math puts numbers to metaphor. Metaphors aren't meant to be quantified, they're meant to be felt and experienced. Math tries to force metaphor onto paper and stay still long enough to be solved. But that's the game of it. That's the fun of it. That's how we got to the moon, because people were willing to figure out what those numbers were that could make it possible.

• Math is a big logic puzzle. I like logic puzzles. I'm not great at them all of the time, but I enjoy them. Math - especially higher math - combines philosophy with science and puts it into a logic puzzle with representational numbers and letters. Then the ppl who really like doing that stuff figure it out.

I live in the world of taking feelings and experiences and putting words, movement, and action to them. I live in the world of theatre, music, and literature. I take the metaphor and expand them so they become visible, secondary metaphors through the experiences of fictional characters, music, and dance. But that's because that's where my brain sits. I'm happy there, it's natural there, and not everyone can do it. Mathematicians will take those same things and put numbers to them. It's happy for them, it's natural, and not everyone can do it.

Now I no longer fear math, and in fact actually love it. I had to step away from the judgmental world of school and fear of my parent's reactions to my grades. I agree basic math should be taught so that children can do the going to the store, buying things, buying a house, and all the basic things a human in this society needs to understand. But I also believe that the magic of math should be taught much, much younger. The philosophy of math should be brought into the very beginning of teaching. The way that numbers can be manipulated, can shift and change. They're not the hard-against-the-wall things that I thought they were as a kid when I couldn't do long division. Boy, I did not understand long division at all. I followed the formula, but the "why" of it was an absolute mystery to me. And what's crazy, I thought I knew the "why". I thought it was because math was something that somebody just had to understand in order to be a functional human being. Again, hard wall.

I didn't realize that math was actually filled with curiosity, and mistakes, and people trying to put reason to the things they see. I didn't realize that even the most basic multiplication formula wasn't invented just to torture kids, it was somebody realizing that there must be a faster way to do this thing they were struggling to do - and they figured it out. They figured out a faster way to multiply. An easier way to conceive of these representational numbers, so that they could then go on to grasp bigger things.

Amazing. Because I do that with words. And with theatre. I find better ways to bring ideas to life, to let them ring and register with audiences in ways that they haven't experienced before. To change people.

Now. I sucked at math. I still suck at math. I used to hate math because I sucked at it. Now I like it even though I suck at it. I tell kids when I teach them math (which isn't often) that it really is okay to not know the answer, or to be struggling with the problem. That math is actually about the process of figuring it out. The cool thing with math is at the end of the day, especially simpler math, you do get to know if your process worked or not. In life, we don't get that same luxury.

The kids who will be good at math need to be exposed to it because they will find it a natural home. The others? I wish we could infuse a little more magic and wonder and curiosity into teaching math, because that's what it is. Yeah, you still gotta know basic addition subtraction multiplication and whatnot. You may or may not need to ever know how to calculate a triangle's edges.

But math has some degree of magic in it. And after all, it's the process that counts.

Here's an unsolved math problem for the math geeks:

Good luck with that one.

10 solutions to a better public school

10 solutions to a better public school

Oh, the Trump administration. One ceaseless horror after another. And now, with Cuomo partnering with Bill Gates to "rethink education" - which makes me roll my eyes ceaselessly at another politician (I'm a firm believer in politicians doing their jobs, and I have good faith in most of them) thinking he understands education. And to recruit Bill Gates? As someone to re-envision education? What? Why? Where are his credentials, man! Where's his experience?

Listen. Teachers have been told how to educate children since the role of "teacher" was invented. It's one of the nuisances of being a teacher - that everyone thinks they know better than you, when you are doing everything you can to be better than your own self. I suppose every job has "those people" who think they know it better than you - but I'd love to see the average politician dictate to lawyers how to do their job, or bankers, or oil company owners. Yet - because raising children is a community effort, telling teachers what to do (smacks of misogyny, doesn't it?) seems to be the basis for a lot of educational decrees.

Also, I'm not opposed to the concept of using someone with the interest in education and the commitment to fund educational efforts, and to engage their thinking in some new ways so that technology can respond to teacher's needs. Key: respond to teacher's needs. Not re-imagine education, but respond to teacher's needs in the classroom. Teachers who already know what\s needed, and who already have envisioned a better educational future.

As a teaching artist, NOT a classroom teacher, but also as a substitute teacher in the general education population, AND as a substitute in a not-for-profit institution for behaviorally challenged youth, I DO feel I have a broad spectrum of experience from which to draw an educated opinion.

And Bill Gates, Trump, and Devos are NOT the answer. Of course, I wasn't a particularly large fan of Obama's educational thinking (although I approve of enhancing science learning for everyone - as long as it inherently includes the arts), and I was vocally opposed to GW's approach with his no child left behind except, of course, nearly every child.

When I first wrote this article, it was in response to the hiring of Devos. So I wrote the following, and since it still holds true, I'm leaving it intact:

From a federal level, we should be focused on public schools. Education for everybody. Charters can and often do remove children for whom education is not easy - children with behavioral, health, mental, physical, emotional, developmental, and also absolutely understandable learning challenges - children who have never been in a school setting before, children who have autism, children who have trauma, children who are in poverty. These all result in behaviors that charter schools can select to not tolerate. Public schools cannot turn anybody away. They are for EVERYBODY and the quality of our public schools will speak to the quality of education in our country.

We will always have private schools, charter schools, other places children can go to be educated in the way a parent decides is most valuable to them. BUT - public school. This is the greatest system we can hope for - education for every single American citizen.

So why would we ever promote a system that undercuts what already is a behemoth, but still a truly necessary offering for American children?

We actually have really good public schools, contrary to public opinion. We teach in ways that other countries don't. We used to. We have been doing less of it during No Child Left Behind, and are slowly finding our way back through Common Core. I had hoped we would keep moving forward. But... alas, that is not the case for the next four years.

Below is my list of what is critically needed for all schools. It is a simple list. It is NOT EASY. but it is simple. and it ALL has to do with funding.

1) Lower classroom size
Every study that I've seen cites that smaller class sizes impact learning. I know this practically, you know this practically. It's a simple solution. But not easy to achieve unless you also:

2) hire more teachers
Not just teachers for numbers. Teachers of quality. Teachers of forward-thinking educational systems. And administrations that support this kind of thinking and teaching.

3) Hire more special education teachers, aides, and those with skills working with emotionally, behaviorally, mentally, developmentally challenged youth
Youth are struggling. Especially city youth, especially rural youth. I've taught in both settings. I KNOW what I'm talking about. If you are anywhere in an inner-city you know that poverty-stricken youth are more likely to be trauma-stricken youth, and therefore vulnerable to losing precious education opportunities due to behavior and other reasons.

4) Hire more language and speech teachers to assist youth for whom English is a second or third or fourth language.

5) Provide more high quality after school opportunities - most after school programs are a hot mess, and this I can say I KNOW because I've been there, and 90% of it is staffing the after school programs properly.

6) Keep attendance officers to make sure youth come to school, but not in a punishable way - but in a way that explores why they are not attending. Could be simple, such as not having clean clothes, or an emergency at home, or perhaps education isn't valued at home and there needs to be an outside force.

7) In areas of high poverty, pay teachers MORE, hire teachers familiar with the area and the student's families. Make sure they have access to the additional supports they need.

8) Offer parent training opportunities - how to help their children with homework, to set schedules and to assist them in their educational goals. Parents are not teachers, as the current pandemic has taught us. Or, if they are, parents are learning that teaching one's own students is vastly different than teaching other parent's children. Yet, parents often want to assist, and find themselves flummoxed by new techniques new technologies, and new strategies that make learning successful. Parent training has worked in some urban settings - for those parents who take advantage of it. More opportunities, and especially using digital platforms to reach parents at home, can greatly enhance student success. It goes without saying that we need to...

9) make sure kids have recess. and arts. and theater. and dance. and music. and sports. SOOOO many of these programs have been cut. Kids need three times as much recess during the day - especially younger ones - than they are getting. Dance, theatre, visual and performing arts, music - these are the backbone of our cultural heritage and they are critical for our youth, for sciences, for humanities, for every aspect of building an innovative and thriving country. So not only put those classes back, but invest in them - and the rest will absolutely follow. THESE THINGS SHOULD BE STANDARD FOR EVERY CHILD.

10) Make teaching a financially forward-thinking, incentivized career where teachers truly compete with each other for the best jobs - and schools, in general, have options for the best and brightest educators. Unions that protect teachers, and MUST protect teachers, cannot be undermined in this - but there also must be good protections for the students against teachers who are NOT good quality. I have seen the best, and I have seen the worst - in the same school, same grade, same principal, same everything. One amazing. one a travesty. There must be some way to protect students from the travesty without punishing the amazing. This is the only one that is not simple. But it is a MUST.

Do these sound like no brainers? Exactly.

But this stuff has to be funded, and it has to be funded from the community. From taxpayers. IF we value an educated country (which I'm questioning if we value this right now). This is where we need to focus our money so that EVERY child has a great education. Our future literally depends on it.

Once again, what the arts can do... an artful meditation

Nobody said that the arts will keep people out of trouble.
They are not the magical equation of a safety pill that when swallowed will cure all ills and warm the gullet and brighten gray winter days with sudden rays of sunlight.

Although sometimes, an experience in the arts can feel like that.

I still remember when my eyes were opened to a sculpture that, without some aesthetic education, I would have looked at as a twisted pile of metal. Seriously? Someone twisted metal and called it art, and all of a sudden they're getting paid thousands? Seems like a joke, right?

Except, it's amazing. There was so much within that little pile of twisted metal that once my eyes were opened to the aesthetics of it, the metal sang. It created a song. It danced. It was about form, and the bending and twisting and off-balance angling of the metal form. It was about space, the distance between two delicately balanced sharp prongs-- it was about the softness of the shape against the hard unforgiving structure of metal. There was a story to be found within it. In other words, once I understood some of the craft behind the sculpture, my strong imagination was able to do the rest. It became art. It became valuable and worthy of study and reflection.

That was visual art, a medium I was unfamiliar with. I am familiar with dance, and song, and poetry and writing. Those are my arts mediums.

Art is not a cure. It's a process. An opening. One artistic experience does not turn a math grade into an A. But many art experiences, and the daydreaming, and the discipline of studying any one of the art forms, allows the mind to generate these synapses that cross the structure of our studies. They allow a student to form a connection between equation A and equation B, because art is cross-curricular. Listening to a symphony is fine. Understanding that the sound of the violins is contrasting the pulsing rhythm of the bass-- that's more amazing. Understanding that when listening to a symphony you are allowed to imagine, daydream or concentrate on the music as much as you like (for instance, to think about the violins, the tonality of the song, the history of its making or even to let it remind you of your dog, or your breakfast food, or a nonverbal series of colors and shapes)-- that's freedom.

Art is reflection, study, discipline, freedom, political statement and permission for fun and silliness. Art is a place where mistakes are okay-- where, in fact, the development of the artwork is through a series of mistakes and trials and experiments and sudden grasps of understanding.

A dancer, for instance, wants to twist midair through a leap because the music - or her spirit-  calls for a dramatic move. She doesn't think it and it happens. No, even for artists there is no magic pill that allows art to happen just because you will it-- she trains her body by leaping, twisting, falling. She realizes her stomach muscles are required, and she spends hours strengthening them. She leaps, twists, falls again. She is not graceful, so she practices for hours and weeks to get it right. All for the beauty of one moment of expression. That's art. What does it do for the rest of us? When a dancer moves, we move with them- our bodies sympathetically align with the dancer, and we move in ways our unstudied bodies never could-- we see the possibility of movement in ourselves, and when we get home we try to leap too. We look like elephants trying to jump over a puddle, but in our minds our bodies become as beautiful as the dancer's. For a moment, anyway. That's art.

I study what the arts can do for students when we get them to engage with an art form and begin thinking in that different way. Where their thoughts and ideas are welcomed. Where they are-- not challenged-- but brightened. Enhanced. Worked with. Accepted.

You see, art is where ideas grow.

It is where ideas come to learn how to grow and exist in forms that other people can experience.

It is where emotions live, and where the hard study and sacrifice necessary to create good art are allowed to thrive. You can test someone on the history they know of any art. But you cannot replace the experience of it with study alone. The only way to the arts is by doing, struggling, studying, practicing, and ultimately-- creating.

I tell my students that the only way to write, is to write. The ideas don't leap onto the page by themselves, you have to put them there. And that's what artists do.

So the arts don't keep people out of trouble or magically cure all ills. But they transform lives, and moments, and ways of thinking. They embrace and experiment with ideas. They reveal our weaknesses and our strengths. They are worthy of our time, our study, our attention. The arts are our humanity.

Capisce? 

Back to the serious stuff-- Fraggling!

I avoided blogging during the heavy election season, because after all, I am quite opinionated about much of it. 

So, as my draft blogs tended to lean towards things that could, whether intended or not, become political, I just stayed away from the whole thing. Considering my entire readership consists of me, and maybe two friends, I presume the damage would have been negligible. Still, why piss off my two good readers? Thanks, you two.

Now we can get back to being serious about things that are NOT so serious... like my newly rekindled love affair with the Fraggles. 

I have always, always always always, claimed Jim Henson and Dr. Suess as two of my heroes-- if you think there's not a huge need for bravery in fearless creativity, you need to try some yourself. It's a tough world out there to allow oneself to be fearlessly creative-- I know that I hold myself back in a million damaging ways, and it's wonderful to suddenly find inspiration renewed in this series. 

The Fraggles are a show I watched... a little bit... when I was younger. I remember enjoying them, but I remember small images, not full storylines. I remember the dog, the man, and the fact that the fraggles lived and sang underneath them. I remember the names, the voices and I remember hating the Trash Heap. I was disturbed by its masculine/feminine thing ("it should be a man!!" I kept thinking, but the voice was feminine! Very easily bothered young child, I was. I won't even go into what I thought about Boy George.) 

However, now that I'm older... and a huge fan and connoisseur of muppets and muppetry skills, along with voiceover skills, the Fraggles have become a rich and bold source of inspiration. I was enjoying them from a nostalgic perspective, until suddenly two fraggles-- Red and Boober-- were trapped in rock fall, losing air, and facing.. quite earnestly... death. It was so emotional, so full of realism for two little Fraggles, that I stopped what I was doing and allowed myself to become deeply engrossed in the story. I thought about the children's shows of today-- Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine, etc. etc. and thought-- you know, here are real issues, faced by real people, and while kids themselves may not find themselves trapped in a life and death situation like this, they certainly face moving locations, or being isolated, or finding themselves with nobody who understands them-- and here's a show dealing directly with these issues in a hugely emotional and inspiring way. Directly. And in a non-threatening way, because after all, these are Fraggles, not real people. 

Fantastic. 

In the last season, the Fraggles deal with pollution-- oh boy, a political hot button apparently-- but they were most certainly anti-fracking. The polluted water that was being placed in the rock was killing them. Boober prayed-- yes, prayed-- although not to a higher being, but only to "outer space" as he understood it-- specifically to the silly people who populate "Outer Space"-- and left an offering. Prayer and an offering in order to end the pollution that was killing his people. Wow. WOW. Could a children's show even get AWAY with that today? 

I don't have much more point to make than this: we are entertaining-- and yet-- dumbing down our children. We are treating them like little Fraggles, instead of actual human beings. We need to give them shows that are emotionally rich. Politically charged, so to speak. Challenging. That deal with REAL emotions, and REAL circumstances. The Fraggles did it. And they did it through song, dance, humor and bold creativity. They reinforced their ideas through several means- human/dog, Gorgs, Doozers and Fraggles. Multi-faceted approaches to problems. Different perspectives. Intelligent -- no, brilliant critical thinking with some occasional magic thrown in. 

How can we get shows like that back on the air? What would it take? How can we get them to sell and if I'm missing a show that does as much as the Fraggles did, what is it? Because I think these Fraggles are as relevant-- if not more so-- right now, than ever before. Thank you Netflix for allowing me to rekindle my nostalgia-- and reinforce what it means to be boldly creative. 

May I do justice with my life to what I've learned from my heroes. And Amen. 

Roadtime & Forgiveness

It's no wonder we listen to music when we travel in the car.

For one, it passes the time brilliantly. I've been doing quite a bit of car travel, and there is absolutely nothing like music and songs to make the ride move along more quickly. I have also found that singing along with songs I know and love, unlike texting, helps me focus and handle stressful driving situations much better than when driving in silence.

For another, boy-- isn't it uncomfortable to sit alone with your thoughts sometimes? I am practiced at meditation, and being a relatively confident person, I am unafraid of letting thoughts come and go as they will. This week, however, seems to be a bit different.

There was a little kitten, one I loved and adored, who stayed with me for a week before passing. I had found it isolated and alone on the side of the road, only to discover that its family was a quarter of a mile back and that momma cat was overwhelmed and not taking care of her babies very well. I was head over heels with this little guy. I took it home to give it a home-- or at least give it a chance.

I won't go into detail because I'm still sad, but the kitten ended up dying. I'm convinced it was my fault, through a combination of ignorance and some anxiety, along with being improperly prepared to care for the little guy. Now,  I love my two older cats. Dearly. I don't have kids, so they benefit from my being able to dote on them without competition. They, too, were rescued as babies from starvation on the streets of Queens, NY. Even then, I did not feel the sort of absolute love I felt for the little kitten. I don't know why it was so particularly strong.

Anyway, the death of the kitten happened about a year ago. It had only lived with me for seven days. For some reason, the spirit of this little kitten has been hanging around and sending me into tears and feelings of regret.

My more hardy friends may laugh at my sentimentality. That's fine. This emotional reaction has surprised me too. For a week now, on and off, this little kitten and my role in its death has been a constant companion.

Yesterday, I took a longer trip than usual, and had exhausted my music. Once I turned it off, however, my thoughts returned to the little guy. My mind strove to make connections-- why now? why so powerful? Why so emotional? Is this memory trying to tell me something? Should I be on my guard? Is it, like a dream, trying to signify something broader in my life? Or is the spirit of this little cat truly around me? I never even had a chance to give it a name.

Before you know it, I'm crying behind the wheel-- which is probably as distracting as anything.

This whole episode left me with a few thoughts. One, is that when you hold the life of somebody, anybody-- a pet, a friend, a child, a patient-- in your hands, you are ultimately still a human being with all of the faults and failures and love that a human being can offer. No matter what you do, sometimes, no matter how strong your love or care-- it's not enough. Sometimes love itself is not enough. Sometimes. Regret, too, is powerful. And so is forgiveness-- although, when you are truly responsible for another being's life, forgiveness can be a harder one to swallow. I think we play games with ourselves when we say "forgive" -- we really mean "shove it aside into the corners of our mind and hearts and don't think about it." Actual, real forgiveness-- it's a bit harder to achieve, isn't it?

Do I really believe that the kitten would have survived if I had done things differently? Yes, I do. In reflection over my actions, in hindsight, yes. I could have done better. So I regret. I'm sad. And I've lost a bit of trust in my ability to handle something as delicate as another creature's life. Will I let my anxiety override the care another creature needs? Will I make more mistakes and let a life slip away in front of me when I could have done more to help? Will I recognize what's needed? What if it had been a child? Or a friend? Or a parent? Obviously the same mistakes wouldn't apply-- but would the same weaknesses?

Forgiveness, of one's mistakes and one's human limits-- in the face of the death of another-- is not easy. I didn't reach it during my silent car ride. I think I'd rather have listened to music instead.